Speaking the Nations Mind

Can Man Forgive A Cheating Spouse? By Maria Famakinwa |


The culture of the land favours men in all ramifications mostly in marriage where women are expected to show loyalty to their husbands irrespective of whatever they are going through in the union. The general perception about marriage is that a man can have more than one wife while a woman cannot have more than a husband as any woman caught in such an act will either face severe punishment or lose her marriage.

In respect of this, it is expected of married women to remain faithful and committed to their husbands and marriages even if their husbands are not faithful to their marital vows. The Hope asked some married men and women if men should forgive an adulterous wife. Why some said that it is possible to forgive such a woman, others opined that the best option is to allow the unfaithful wife to go for peace to reign.

A public servant, Mr Joseph Olanrewaju, in his opinion said that the first thing to do is for the man to find out what actually led the wife into adultery after which he should forgive her because as a Christian, it is good to forgive. “There is no sin that one cannot forgive if God himself can forgive us our wrong doings.

 “Forgiven an adulterous wife will make the woman to worship her husband as tin god because the woman will never forget such a favour in a country where many belief it is a taboo to keep such a woman. The home will experience its initial eluded peace as the wife in the middle of the storm will be forced to calm down and avoid doing what will make her husband remember her mistake.”

 In the submission of a civil servant, who simply wanted to be addressed as Mrs Abiodun explained that a man should forgive his adulterous wife because men are not saints. She revealed that most women who cheat in their matrimonial homes do so because they are left with no alternative.

Her words, “Most men are jobless today and cannot meet their home needs, this force some women into adultery in order to take care of their children. No woman can stand watching her children hungry, so, they must provide through any means. We also have homes where men married many wives and it is not possible for all the wives to be satisfied sexually by a man since our orgies differ, women who feel not satisfied in this regard can seek for alternative elsewhere.

“Men also commit the same atrocity yet, their wives forgive them. There are some women whose husbands had been infected with sexually transmitted diseases and no noise was heard about it but if the reversal was the case, all hell would have let loosed if a woman can forgive adulterous husband, nothing is wrong for a man to forgive an adulterous wife “.

Speaking contrary, another public servant, Mr Taiwo Ojuse, who maintained that the Bible though preaches forgiveness does not support adultery in any guise even as he advised that it is better to divorce an adulterous wife if the man cannot cope to save the man from untimely death as a result of hypertension.

“It is not easy for any man who caught his wife in the act of adultery to forgive or forget such a shameful incident because the memory will keep coming and this can make the man to die untimely.

After going to seek for a woman’s hand in marriage with one family and paying the necessary bride price, the same woman was now caught in bed with another man, to be honest to oneself, no man can forgive such a woman because the man’s pride is already wounded and anytime he sees the woman, he cannot be happy so the best option is for her to go, for the man to have his peace.”

A teacher, Mrs Adunni Adeolu, in her contribution advised women who are not satisfied in their marriages to quit such a union rather than committing adultery.

She added that many marriages had broken due to this and some women had lost their lives due to adultery.

“The best option for any woman who is not satisfy with her husband is to divorce the man and start another life she prefer instead of having illicit affair while still under a man.

No man will want to forgive a woman caught in the act of adultery. No excuse can justify a married woman sleeping around with other men. The law of the land itself is against such a barbaric act. Men whose wives are caught in this act felt betrayed and regard the woman as a killer.”