Speaking the Nations Mind

One Nigeria And The Free Beer Promo By Ajogwu Ochada

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I woke up in the early hours of this day to brainstorm on the myriads of complexities bedevilling our beloved nation — Nigeria — and an introspective reflection was ignited as a mere flashback.

In 2011, after sitting for our last papers, marking the end of our undergraduate studies, my humble self and my cherished friend, Egwu Victor stayed back in school perhaps to complete our project work before leaving Anyigba community.

Our graduation climaxed with the re-branding of the almost defunct ’33’ lager beer and the promo holding sway at that time enticed us to change our brand.

We admired the new bottle and we spent resourceful time arguing about the taste forgetting that our project is at stake. We spent more of our time in ‘One Nigeria’ a popular pub opposite the main gate of our school.

In support of our adventures, the gods were more lenient, almost every bottle we sip, we unlock a “free drink” aside the “drink two and get one free” promo.

In the following days, we had many unclaimed free drinks and we were left with no option than to feature friends like Hassan Adama, Yahaya Yusuf, Ekele Abuh Emmanuel and many others whom I cannot remember now because I am gradually getting old. It was indeed a season of more free drinks because the more we sipped enmasse, the more we won the promo in bulk.

Few days after, our invited friends ran away from the game but myself and Victor never gave up.

It got to a point, Timothy — the waiter — developed natural hatred for us because we were no longer coming to patronize him but to claim our unending “free drinks”.

Hence, once we arrive ‘One Nigeria’ he frowns his face and tell us “company di free drink wa nyi nin” (meaning the company did not supply free drinks today) and to our stark dismay we came back to ‘One Nigeria’ few hours later to see other customers sipping our newly discovered “free brand”. We left for my lodge and we did not utter a word to Timothy but we were apparently vexed.

The following day, Victor advised we strike a deal with Timothy. He said we should tell him after selling a bottle to us, he should give us one bottle of our already won free drink.

I welcomed his idea and applauded him. I told him he is a good student of “diplomacy”. We zoomed out of my lodge trekking under the scorching sun to ‘One Nigeria’.

We arrived our destination and told Timothy our resolve. To be candid, his countenance changed that very moment and our waiter friend told us he can only agree to liase with us if we cooperate and drink another brand, but not ’33’.

We both chorused “why”.

Timothy said “I can’t continue to sell ’33’ to you while you continue winning, my Oga said I should not sell anything beer to you guys anymore but I just want to cooperate with you”.

Victor became visibly mad that very moment and I could see the thirst and anger he was battling to control written all over his face and he was sweating profusely.

In the midst of our heated argument with Timothy, my phone rang. It was my brother and coursemate Abraham Idoko Abu on the line.

I picked and he told me our supervisor, Dr Abiye Ichaba said we MUST submit our project unfailingly the next day or wait till after the semester break. Gbam! He dropped the call.

How do I explain to my friends I could not complete my nearly completed project because of 33 promo?

I informed Victor of the new development and he began to laugh mockingly at me. I told him I am not surprised. “Look at what your witchcraft have done to me”.
Victor’s project topic was on “Witchcraft In Igala land”.

I spent that whole night in the business center and managed to submit my work the next day before other coursemates because I was almost done before the promo diverted my attention.

THE NIGERIA EXPERIENCE
Many politicians chanting “One Nigeria” are making empty hullabaloo which at the slightest enticement (promo) they abandon their brand (decamp) to romance another (party).

During their adventures, just like our friend, Timothy (party chairman), when it does not favour their interest, they would behave like my friend Victor (cause fight in the party) and return to their brand (former party).

Many politicians who dumped the PDP in 2015 and embraced APC (33 lager) are done with the promo. It is now time for them to submit project and in a sharp contrast to my predicament, they want to change their project supervisors. This is not a healthy democratic engagement.

It is obvious that politicians are not interested about the welfare of the masses but their ambitions are structured on the hinges of egocentric quest. Other wise, cross carpeting should not be the best way to resolve intra party crisis.

In 2019, Nigerians must beware of those politicians, who are chicken hearted and cannot stand the heat but just like a renowned harlot, they keep changing brothels to champion their enterprise.

To this end, Nigerians must shun the negative inclinations of voting massively for a particular political party. If we must get it right, we must start and develop the ideology of voting credible and result oriented personalities not minding their political or party affiliation. WE MUST GET THERE.

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